Several years ago, I was in a book club with a group of women I had met through a local homeschool group. We were an eclectic bunch, and the varying genres we chose reflected that -- literary fiction, romantacy, nonfiction, fan-fiction. Nothing was off the table. One summer, our pick-of-the-month was Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari. Judging by the title, I knew this book was not going to be friendly to a Biblical worldview, but I also knew this was the perfect opening for sharing the Gospel. I arrived prayed-up and prepared to rebuttal all of Harari's arguments. But, even though God did provide me with the opportunity to share my faith, I found myself doing more listening than talking. I had known beforehand that I was the only Christian in this group, but I also learned why these women--many of whom had grown up in church--had walked away from their faith. The phrase many of them kept repeating was "religious trauma." In Christian circles, we might call it "church hurt."

"Church hurt" is nothing new. As long as people are involved, things will get messy. Feelings will get hurt. Promises will be broken. We live in a broken world, and the church is comprised of broken people. After all, "brokenness" is why the church exists in the first place.

Even the early church was not immune from mucking things up. I know I can be guilty of looking at the first church in Acts with rose-colored glasses, as if they always had it together. I zero in on verses like Acts 4:32, which I believe shows the early church at its best: "the entire group of those who believed were of one heart and mind, and no one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but instead they held everything in common." But these verses set the stage for what is probably the first example of church hurt in the New Testament. All of these early believers were so excited and on fire for Jesus, that many of them even sold houses or land in order to donate all of the proceeds to the church. Because of this, "there was not a needy person among them." (Acts 4: 34) Ananais and his wife Saphira did not want to be left out, so they sold some of their property too. But something wasn't right with their hearts. Instead of giving all of the money from the sale to the apostles, they kept some back for themselves. This is not a sin. There is no commandment in Scripture that says you must give all of your money to the church. There is, however, a commandment that prohibits lying. That's what Ananias and Saphira did when they brought their money to Peter and told him that they were giving him all of the proceeds from the sale of their property. They cared more about their image before men than they did about their integrity before God, and the consequences were swift and immediate. (If you're not familiar with this story, give Acts 5: 1-11 a look.) Their actions and the ensuing consequences produced a ripple effect on the mood of the church. Acts 5: 11 says, "Great fear seized the whole church and all who heard about these events." Sometimes, the people who cause hurt in the church are those who use the name "Christian" without having a true relationship with Christ. We can't see into people's hearts, but God can.

This is not the only example of church hurt you'll find in Acts. Just one chapter over, we read the story of why the position of "deacon" was created in the first place. It was because "there arose a complaint by the Hellenistic Jews against the Hebraic Jews that their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution." (Acts 6:1) The early church was not immune to tribalism, and neither are we. It's easy to pay attention to and recognize the needs of those who look like us or who share our interests. Sometimes we box people out without realizing it. Not every church has the resources to be all things to all people, but it should be our mission to let everyone know that they have a place here. Jesus loves the woman with the purple hair and tattoo sleeves just as much as the woman in the long dress with six kids. Sometimes the church falters when it comes to showing God's impartiality.

We also see betrayal in the book of Acts. Paul experienced this on one of his first missionary journeys. Barnabus had been the first Christian to accept Paul after his conversion, and he was also Paul's first partner in missions. The trouble started when Barnabus brought his cousin Mark along. (Yes, the same Mark who would later write the book of the Bible bearing his name). Before their journey was completed, Mark turned back and headed for home. Was he scared? Homesick? Overwhelmed? Scripture doesn't say, but we do know it left a sour taste in Paul's mouth. Later, when Paul and Barnabus decided to revisit the towns where they had preached the Gospel, Barnabus suggested bringing Mark with them again. Paul refused. Their discussion about Mark grew heated. Scripture tells us that "they had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company, and Barnabus took Mark with him and sailed off to Cyprus. But Paul chose Silas and departed [...]" (Acts 15:39-40a) This passage has always saddened me. Yes, God used the separation of Paul and Barnabus to spread the Gospel to more places, but it was at the cost of a friendship. But I love how Scripture works together, because even though the writer of Acts doesn't mention this again, God lets us know there was restoration. At the close of Paul's letter to Philemon, in his final greetings, he writes, "Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends you greetings, and so do Mark, Aristarches, Demas, and Luke, my coworkers." (Philemon 23-24) I love seeing Mark's name listed among Paul's coworkers. It means there was forgiveness and reconciliation. None of us are perfect. Not Mark. Not even Paul. That's the reason for the Gospel in the first place.

Forgiveness and reconciliation is the heart of the church. It's what our faith is structured around. We can love others because Christ first loved us. And we can forgive others because Christ forgave us. Didn't he forgive us a deeper debt? Church hurt can wound us deeply, but, as you'll see in the stories I'll post in the weeks ahead, it is survivable. You can heal and move on with your faith strong and intact. I pray these stories will be an encouragement to you.