Betrayal by a Christian Friend

By Bethany L. Hawkins

Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never allow the righteous to be shaken. Psalms 55:22

Have you ever had someone you trusted completely turn out to be a false friend? This is especially painful if it occurs within your church family. Christians can wound each other deeply. Betrayals within the church can even make us question what we believe about God. Strife within a body of believers can also destroy its witness to the world. It can also harm our witness as an individual child of God.

Many years ago, I had a friend at work who was the only other person who actively talked about church things in the office. I thought she was a fellow believer and enjoyed talking with her about the preschool children she worked with at church. She frequently asked me for prayer as her health deteriorated, and she missed more and more days of work. She eventually quit her job after struggling with health problems. On her last day, she asked me to pray for her because her husband was just diagnosed with cancer.

Within a few weeks, her replacement uncovered massive fraud perpetrated by this woman I considered a friend and fellow believer. As the investigation began, the truth started to come out and each bit was harder to take than the next. It turns out almost everything she did in the six years I worked with her, and some years prior to that, was a lie, especially towards the end of her employment. She was not as sick as she pretended to be. Her husband never had cancer. She stole almost $1 million from the nonprofit where we worked. She was arrested, along with her husband who was an accomplice, tried, and convicted of stealing over $700,000 from our employer.

While I was angered by the theft and how it had impacted me as my employer struggled financially, I was mostly hurt that she played on my sympathies by using my faith to gain my trust. I was also angry that she hurt any credibility I had as a Christian in the workplace. She stole a bit of my identity with her false reputation as a Christian woman. (I am making a judgement here about her salvation based on her actions. I do not know for sure what her relationship was with Jesus.) I did not feel comfortable talking much about my faith to my coworkers until most of the ones who worked with her left and were replaced by new staff who did not know her.

While I was surprised by her actions, God was not. He prepared for all of our hurts and gave us his word for comfort.

In Psalm 55, David has been betrayed and wounded deeply by someone he loved and trusted. He begs God to listen saying he is “restless and in turmoil” (Psalm 55:2). He is terrified and not sure what to do next. He focuses on words of fear: turmoil, pressure, disaster, terror, fear and trembling, horror. Then he cries that he would like to be like a bird so he could flee his circumstances and find rest. Then, he takes a rest in the verse with “Selah” (Psalm 55:7).

After the pause, the tone of the Psalm changes. David looks past his despair to call on God for help. He prays that God will confuse the speech of his enemies to ease the oppression and deceit in the marketplace. He calls to God to comfort him in his sorrow.

He ends the Psalm by asking God to end the life of his betrayer early. But the last words show David’s faith in the Lord. The final line in the Psalm states “But I will trust in you.” Despite the pain and betrayal breaking David’s heart, he knew God to always be faithful and true.

Thankfully, betrayals of this level are rare. But they bring us to our knees. Like David, we can call out to Jesus. No matter who or what causes us deep, heart-breaking pain, we can rest in the justice of God. We can trust Him completely to right the wrong in His time. Unlike the people of this world, God will never betray us.

My story of betrayal ended last year. My former co-worker died after doing a year in jail and experiencing several years of bad health. I wish I could say it no longer hurts. It does. I am still struggling to forgive her even though I know she met God for either his punishment or his grace. I continue to ask God to help me forgive her even if I can’t forget what she did.

I encourage you to think about a relationship in your life destroyed by betrayal. Ask God to take the burden and pain of the betrayal and carry it for you. Let Him know you believe He is a God of justice. Ask Him to help you resolve the relationship in the way most pleasing to Him.